High School Perspective
June 18th, 2001
The Scoop on Girls By Crackle
All right…so here’s the scoop. Guys don’t understand girls. No big news, right? It’s been known as a mystery for all of mankind—-what girls are thinking? They have no clue. They try to guess and think and guess and think and then they end up more confused then ever.
Well, I’m here to tell ya something…us girls are screwed up. We have the most elaborate thought process out there. We don’t have a one track mind like you men. We don’t. We have a multi-lane highway stretching to the end of the world and back with exits to other roads reaching far off lands no one has ever explored. Yep, that’s us.
If you say something, we will dissect it for all its worth and find the most obscure explanation for you saying that. For example, if you ask us “Do you wanna do something on Friday?” our thoughts will start commuting on the highway of our mind. In fact, it will cause a traffic jam. The first thought that comes to our mind is “Oh my god, he asked me if I wanted to do something…Finally I am so happy…but wait what if he just wants to go out as friends, do you think? Maybe its not a date, no it has to be a date. I saw him looking at me earlier, he has to wanna date, but then again maybe he was looking at that girl behind me or just trying to find his pencil or not even thinking about me one bit. But, no he has to wanna go out on a date with me…ohmygod what do you think we are gonna do, my outfit will depend on what we are gonna do! Do you think he will wanna kiss me? That would be so cool…oh wait…haha…I have to answer him!” And surprisingly enough all these thoughts and more will go through our minds in about 12 seconds. I mean sometimes, I’m even shocked at what I come up with.
That’s not the only part of a girl’s mind. We have only reached the tip of the iceberg. Girls are deep. Let me just tell ya something. Sometimes I don’t even understand the way we work. I mean I do the natural thing a girl does, but I don’t understand why I do it. For instance, in dealing with friends, the way a girl works is pure art. I mean we can spread rumors, break people apart, and completely screw with people’s minds without breaking a nail (sorry I had to add that in, it was too cliche to pass up).
That’s just how skilled we are at being artists. And another thing. We are so weird with interacting with friends and people. I mean like one minute we will be so chummy chummy with some person and then as soon as they walk away we are bad mouthing them behind their backs. And even though you can be friends with some person, if your other friends start making fun of them you just continue along with them. Man, we are deranged…Just read all this…it’s derangement.
Us girls put pressure on ourselves to look good, to be good, to act good…oh hell we just put pressure on ourselves to look good. We buy expensive clothes just to say “Oh look what i got, it cost $300, don’t you love it!” But then again we do the same thing when we get great bargains. “Oh look what i got, it cost $10, don’t you love it!”
We are always trying to top other girls and we will do whatever it takes. We will lie over the stupidest things that don’t even matter. If one girl makes a higher grade on a paper or a test, we will lie about our grade and say that we made at least 1 point higher than her, even though we didn’t. This is how low we would stoop just to impress somebody and to put them down at the same time. It’s just the way it works and let me tell you it will never change. And so guys my word of advice to you is to read this and then forget about it. I mean it will just confuse you even more.
Oh and remember, you are reading this which is written by a girl and after all what I have told you I would hope that you would have at least learned that girls are deceiving.
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I wrote that when I was a Junior in High School - man, I am so insightful, even back then!
