We, uh, met on Match…
No one wants to admit that they use dating sites. More importantly, no one wants to admit that they met the person they are dating on a dating site. With all the strides in the technical and social media space, a stigma remains regarding online dating. No matter what, you want to have some sort of real-life or physical connection with someone before you agree to go on a date with them. It’s okay; it’s only human. Sure, people will say that with dating sites you can get to know someone via email or phone, however, they are still a complete stranger until you meet them.
In fact, you rarely want to tell your friends that you are going to meet a guy you met on Match or eHarmony. Instead, you’ll make up a story about how you met: “oh, he’s an old classmate from college,” or “he’s a friend of a friend,” or “we randomly met at Barnes and Noble the other day, isn’t that crazy?”
But why? Why do we lie?
You see, an unofficial, social ranking exists in regards to how one meets a potential partner or significant other.
Rank #1: You’ve known this person for a while and gradually start becoming more than friends or acquaintances. The risk is low and you have usually determined a low creepz0r index by then. When you announce you are dating this person, your connection circle usually welcomes the news with open arms and reactions like, “Well, it’s about time,” or “I saw it coming,” or “When are you going to post this on Facebook to make it official?”
Rank #2: A friend sets you up with a great guy or gal that they know. The risk is relatively low, because, although you haven’t met your date, you at least have a friend’s voucher for the person. I’m not saying the first date won’t be awkward, but at least you have background from a reliable source. It’s just like in advertising - you are more likely to purchase a product if your friend provides a rave review than reading the product’s website - thus the issue with dating sites. You are relying on the person’s word vs. someone you trust.
Rank #3: You have a chance encounter with someone and sparks fly. The chance encounter story, although rare, tends to give people hope that they too can find their mate at a local Starbucks. Some people would rank this above the friend set up, due to the romantic notion of fate, however, the risk definitely increases because you’ve agreed to go out on a date with someone in which you don’t have a reliable source to consult. The plus side: you’ve met them. You know what they actually look like, you can gauge interest almost immediately and can put them on the spot when you ask questions. With dating sites, everything is formulated to make yourself more desirable: pictures with good lighting, witty, precise emails, profile tips/tricks, etc. In person, everything is out there.
Rank #4: You e-meet someone on a legitimate dating site: Match, eHarmony, Chemistry, JDate. The risk is there - this person is still a stranger, but you at least know more about them. The downside: people lie, pictures are old and you can easily get the creepz0r vibe once you sit down in person. If and when you do tell your friends of how you really met your mate, the typical response is, “Oh, yeah, I have a friend that did that. You know, it’s really common nowadays and widely acceptable. I just could never do it, but good for you.”
Rank #5: You e-meet someone on Craigslist or some other site advertising “sexy co-eds.” I should note, most people don’t have to worry about telling friends about this truth, considering most people searching on these sites ain’t looking for a relationship longer than a night…if you catch my drift.
I speak, of course, not from personal experience, since I don’t, um, use dating sites or anything….
