Blast from the Past

Dear mili13,

While I am flattered that you showed interest in me, I feel I should express to you why I will not be reciprocating with my interest.

1. You are short. Must be at least 5’10 to ride this ride.

2. You have no direction in life and I am obviously more successful than you which would make for awkward conversations.

3. You attended “some college” which means you probably had to drop out of community college when you discovered 2 semesters of Math were required.

4. You put this line in your profile: “Just looking for some one to have fun with this summer” which translates to “just looking for a sex buddy to swap VD with.”

5. You have a picture with several people that look like douchebags.

6. Actually, I know people in that picture… they went to high school with me.

7. Holy crap, you went to my high school and obviously don’t remember me because you were in the “popular crowd.”

That last fact makes this rejection all the more sweeter.

Sincerely,
xina